Of all the cool things my crazy husband has brought home, I think this is one my least favorites.   I came home last night to find this life sized black bear on my front lawn.  My crazy husband thought that I would not see it because it was dark when I got home.  Too bad he forgot we have a flood light on our driveway that comes on when I pull up. 

I decided to just go inside the house and not say anything about it.   My crazy husband never said a word to me about it.  I posted a status update on Facebook and went to bed.

In the morning, while carrying our baby to the car and lugging the bottle bag, I took this picture.  I ran in to my next door neighbor, who has lived  next door to my crazy husband for years.  She knows how nuts he is and she started pulling out her phone to take pictures for Facebook.   She told me that she might need to start her own blog ”My Neighbor is Crazy” or “The Stuff I Put Up With”.  I called Jason at work from my car and asked him about the huge black bear that is on our front lawn.  He laughed nervously.  I asked him if he had seen my posts from last night on Facebook.  He said yes and then laughed again.  He bought that ugly bear for $150.     

 The next day my neighbor and one of our best friends decided they were going to post these pictures on Facebook.  It is funny to see what is going on in your front yard while you are sitting at your desk at work.  I am glad everyone is enjoying themselves.

I told him he has to sell the bear soon.  I don’t like it at all.  This is my least favorite blog entry to date.

As I sit here and type this blog entry tonight, outside my house on my front lawn sits a life sized black bear in attack pose.  I saw it when I got out of my car.  I was startled by it because I have to walk past it to get to the walkway.  It is big, black, shiny and looks somewhat odd on the front lawn.  I honestly could not believe it when I saw it.  I came home at about 7:30pm and my crazy husband has not said one word to me about it.  I have not said anything to him either.  Maybe I wont say anything and just let him see this post tomorrow morning.  Yep.  That’s what I am going to do.

The other day I asked my crazy husband in front of a few of our friends what he was currently hiding in his van.  He was surprised that I knew something was in there.  Heck…I had good odds at being right, seeing as though we are about a month away from Halloween and the crazy buying of very odd objects has begun.

We took a walk out to his van, he opened the back of it and there in multiple pieces were these brand new, faceless, shiny black mannequins that stand 6 feet 5 inches tall.  That is pretty tall for a mannequin.  I asked him why they were so tall and he proudly replied “Because they were previously in an art museum.  They easily cost $200 each and I got them for $65 each.  I am going to use them to hold up the giant Halloween costumes we have.  They will be all around the backyard during the party.  When the party is over I will sell the mannequinns and the costumes and make a profit.  You see, we get to have the coolest stuff, show it off to our friends at the party and then make a profit off of reselling it”.   I really could not argue with him.  

It is important to point out that my crazy husband Jason took this picture himself.  He conveniently and purposely did not photograph the entire garage while framing this photo.  

The garage is a disaster.   That is a completely different blog entry that will wait for another day.

Just when I thought I had seen everything…

Jason, in in his pursuit of the craziest Halloween costumes he can find, came across this 10 foot tall Vampire costume.  That is him in the picture.

I could not believe my eyes.  If you look at my blog entries below (and the pictures) you will understand how I would have thought that the huge bat and obnoxiously large ogre costumes…that maybe that was it.  WRONG.

I found another costume in his Coors Light Room just two days ago.  I can’t publish the pictures of that one because it’s the one he will be wearing at our annual Halloween party this year.   Here was this creepy costume in there and he thought I would not find it.  Not find it?  Seriously, the thing made me jump when I went in there the other day to get a cold beverage. Not cool.

I asked my crazy husband very casually as he was walking me to the car the other night, “So did you think that I was not going to find the other costume you are hiding in the Coors Light Room?”   He just looked at me blankly and said “Oh, you went in there”?  I had already figured out that this was his masterpiece costume that he had been working on so I didn’t give him that much grief.  This costume in the picture above, at this very moment, is sitting upright on my dining room table.  The funny thing is that my 11 month old daughter is not afraid of the image at all. Go figure.            

Today is September 21st and my crazy husband is already coming home with Halloween decorations!  It’s not like he doesn’t already have more stuff than anyone else I have ever known.  You see, Jason loves to find the coolest, scariest, weirdest, creepiest and goariest Halloween costumes and props.  He is known for it.

Tonight he decided that he was going to show me what he had brought home.  He was quite excited actually.  When he asked our son to go outside and help him I knew it had to be something big. 

He definitely had purchased a lot of cool decorations for our annual Crazy Halloween Costume Bash.  We are both really into skulls and have lots of them.  There was just one more thing he wanted to show me but he made me close my eyes.  We played along for about 3 minutes and then we were told to open our eyes.

There stood my crazy husband in front of us wearing this costume.  Seriously we looked at him and could not believe he was somewhere in there.   We thought about creeping over to the next door neighbor’s house to freak her out but Jason got too hot underneath. 

Our house is not your typical house, not by a longshot.   I wish!

My husband is not your typical guy either.  Thank God!

Both of them get even stranger the closer we get to Halloween!

The other day my crazy husband called me at work and begged me to pick up something for him.  My office is in Beverly Hills and he wanted me to go to Santa Monica.  Just seven miles in the opposite direction of my house on a Friday evening.  No big deal right?   WRONG! 

I was not happy about this.  Not at all.  I really don’t care what Jason buys.  I just do not want to be part of the transactions, phone calls, negotiations and/or picking up the items.

This is how our conversation went:

Jason: “Oh it’s just 7 miles away and its these really cool Coors Light Guitar Hero guitars.   They are just $40, please pick them up”. 

Me: “Are you out of your freakin’ mind.  You want me to go 7 miles in the opposite direction on a Friday evening for some stupid Coors Light guitars.  We don’t even play guitar hero.  This is just going to be one more piece of Coors Light memorabilia to adorn your Coors Light Room”. 

Jason: “You don’t understand.  These are worth money.  Please just go pick them up.  I promise to make it up to you”.

Knowing that my crazy husband is generally right, I abruptly agreed to pick up the items.  I was frustrated.  I did not want to pick these up.  I just wanted to go home after work and relax.

I arrived at the home of the guy who was selling the guitars.  He came downstairs and handed me four real Peavey guitars that were specially made to play Guitar Hero and they had the Coors Light background on them.  No stupid stickers, no chintzy plastic, these were gorgeous and heavy.   I seriously almost got excited.   These definitely were not the stupid Guitar Hero guitars that I was expecting.  I even thought to myself…..Jason is going to make a bundle on these.  Wait until he sees them!  He will be so happy. 

The guy asked me if my husband was a bit of a nut.  I aksed him why he was asking.  He told me how Jason had been on the phone with him back and forth throughout the day.  Jason had originally wanted the guy to go to the UPS store wrap and box the four guitars and ship them to him.  The guy thought Jason was insane.  He was selling all four guitars fo just $40!  The guy told me that was way too much work to pack four guitars and ship them.  I looked at him and laughed.  I told him that Jason is the kind of guy who thinks that is not really a big request because he does stuff like that all the time.  Jason makes a lot of stuff seem easy.

The guy then told me that Jason had been very clear that his wife was not happy about having to come pick these up so please make sure that everything is in order so that the transaction could go very quickly and very smoothly.   Again, I laughed.

The guy then asks me why my husband wants these.  I told him about Jason’s crazy purchases, the website, his crazy behavior and his huge collection of Coors Light memorabilia.  The guy asked me if the people at Coors Light know about him.  I said “No”.  He said “Don’t you think they should”  I said “Don’t you think if I had a contact I would get in touch with them”?  He said “I am the event planner for Coors Light.  I will help you get to the right people”.      We chatted for a little longer and then I promised to send pictures of the Coors Light Room to him.  

When I arrived home with the four gorgeous guitars Jason just looked at me, smiled and said “Thank you for picking them up.  I told you they were worth the trip”.  He was right. 

Who knew?  Who knew this purchase that I did not want to be a part of would potentially get me the connection I have been wanting to get with Coors Light?  They need to fim a commercial in Jason’s Coors Light Room.  Men and women would love it.  No one I know has a room like we have.  Every guy who sees it wishes they had one too!

All of the animal statues that arrived on Sunday are now safely in our backyard.  Careful thought needs to go into what goes where. 

Amazingly enough, our 11 month old daughter is not frightened by a life sized alligator in her back yard. 

I really believe that our little girl is going to easily adapt to the crazy environment that her dad creates on a daily basis.  It will seem “normal” to her. 

What is normal anyway?   

I seriously thought that all the craziness was done for the day!  We went to a very nice dinner with our friends, talked about the Wild Kingdom that is developing in our backyard and then came home.  We decided to go out onto our back patio for an after dinner beverage.  My crazy husband disappeared for a few minutes.  My back was to the door.  I heard him come out of the house and saw something so evil in my peripheral vision that I covered my eyes and said “Oh My God!  What the heck could that possibly be”?  I finally took my hands away from my face and took a good long look at the mask.  It is so ugly.  I then immediately came into the house to get my camera.  I asked our teenage friend and babysitter if she had seen Jason come through the house.  She simply looked at me and said “Yeah”.  Just like that.  Not like it was anything weird.  She has known Jason all her life.  The thought is to use this costume on a mannequin at our Annual Crazy Halloween Costume Bash.  Great idea!  Maybe this is the answer to the design of our photo opp area.

Statistically, Sunday’s are my crazy husband’s favorite day to bring home his prized acquisition’s. 

Today he came home with a life sized gorilla, python, alligator and an iguana!  Seriously, he left this morning all stressed out because my visit to Target had delayed him being somewhere very important this morning.  He said he was going to get something for me and that I would love it.  Off he went.  He took the van and not his Jeep so I knew something was definitely up.  I absolutely had no idea what was coming back.  

Jason arrived home three hours after he had left.  He was talking about taking me to dinner tonight, where we should go, what we should have, what a great wife I am…hmmmm….something stinks…..do you smell it?  I smell it! 

I finally came straight out and asked where he had been and what he had bought.  He immediately got tight lipped.  

I told him that he might as well fess up about it now and just show me.  He took me outside and there sitting on my front porch was this life sized gorilla.  Who has a life-sized gorilla?  He then moved the gorilla over to the front lawn (for picture purposes of course) and we took a quick picture. 

My crazy-out-of-his-freakin-mind husband then said “Oh, I think there is just one more thing in the van”.  He then pulled out a life-sized 15 foot python and strategically placed it next to the gorilla.  He then quietly went back to the van (as I stood there examining the snake and gorilla) .  He then pulled out an 8 foot life sized alligator.  I was shocked and speechless.  They just kept coming.  The final conquest  of today was the 4 foot long life sized bright green iguana.  Jason was so unbelievably proud of himself.   When I asked him how much for the python he said “Almost nothing”.  When I asked him how much for the gorilla he said “Oh it was all like buy-one-get-one-free kind of thing”.  Yeah right!  All I could do was photograph the items and write about them. 

 I would not be surprised at all of all of these things were not purchased to sell.  I am almost 100% positive that all of these things were meant for our backyard. 

If that weren’t enough, do you remember my post on September 10 about the two military soldiers that he was going to get? 

My crazy husband and his best friend took a drive to Beverly Hills yesterday and picked up the two soldiers as scheduled.  They also picked up two life sized hula girls as well.  Driving through Hollywood yesterday was quite an event for them.  They were total eye candy with the four statues tied down in the back of the truck.  All of them were standing up.  Natives and tourists were taking pictures of them as they drove down Sunset Blvd.  

Now one of the soldiers and the two hula girls are in my backyard waiting to be sold.  The other soldier is actually positioned on my front lawn. 

I cannot imagine what our neighbors must say about the crazy behavior that goes on over at our house.  I know they get a laugh out of it most of the time.   Can you imagine having one of these on your front lawn?  I cannot wait until it is sold. 

I did promise to love, honor and cherish until death-do-us-part!  I did know what I was getting into when I married this crazy nut!

As I have said before, my crazy husband has this fascination with acquiring life sized items and then reselling them.  I was notified two days ago that he needed me to remind him how to get to the house in Beverly Hills that he had taken me to when I was just 1 week away from delivering our baby girl last year.   Sounds glamorous right?  He took me to a House in Beverly Hills?  Well, let’s just say that the house was indeed glamorous.  Located north of Sunset Blvd. near Doheny.  Multi-million dollar home.  Huge property that had a mosaic tiled pool, separate extra large spa and a pool house that was at least 1800 square feet.

Oh – did I mention why my crazy husband took me there at almost 9 months pregnant? It was because he was going to buy a number of life sized statues that the property owner wanted to get rid of.   He insisted that we disrupt our very pleasant and quiet Sunday afternoon to make a large purchase.  He was positive that he wouldmake alot of money off of the items we  were picking up.  He usually is right so I got dressed and off we went to Beverly Hills.  Ugh! 

When we arrived we were shown a multiple of life sized statues.  There was a pirate, a John Wayne, 4 hula girls, a crawfish (yes a huge crawfish) and two military soldiers.  We ended up leaving with the pirate($100), the John Wayne($100), 4 hula girls($100 each) and the crawfish($50).  I do have previous posts and pictures to prove all of this on my blog sometime around mid October 2009 – check those out!

The owner did not want to part with the military soldiers once he realized that Jason was getting everything for a steal.   Jason was so bummed that he didn’t get at least one of the soldiers.  We have an army  surplus store not far from our house in Burbank.  They have a soldier outside their store that looks just like the ones he didn’t get to buy.  I know it bugs him every time he drives by that store. 

Remember at the beginning of this story I said that Jason asked me to give him the directions back to this house?  He is picking up the two soldiers this weekend.  11 months later – he finally gets the two that got away!  He is stoked.  The price for the two army dudes?  $300 for both.  He stands to make at least a profit of $500 for each soldier when he resells them.  I promise to post the picture when he picks these statues up.  You’ll see.  How this guy finds these crazy huge things for such a great price and then turns around and sells them the very same day for at least three to four times more than what he bought them for, it just kills me.

My crazy and driven husband did sell all of the statues he bought for way more money that he purchased them for.

It pays to be determined, that is for sure.