It amazes me that I was so concerned about losing my hair when I was told that I would have to do chemotherapy.  My hair at one time in my life meant everything to me.  I was lucky enough to have thick, wavy hair that at any time of year could have been colored blonde, red or brunette.  I have always been able to carry off different hair colors.  Who would I be if I didn’t have my hair?  Would people look at me funny?  Those were the questions I asked myself back in May of this year when I started chemotherapy.  I realized all too quickly that my hair, like my breasts were expendable.  They really meant nothing if keeping both meant losing my life.  Pretty easy to change your mind about something when you put it into perspective like that.

My surgeons took great care in recreating my breasts through micro-surgery.  Now, here it is almost six months later and those wounds are healed.  My last chemo session was in September and look – my hair is beginning to grow back!  Little by little it comes in.  It is coming back everywhere.  Amazing how the body repairs and replenishes itself.  My hope is to help it along a little bit with vitamins and a hair cell therapy product.  My finger nails have been growing faster than they every have before.  Amazing.  I am hoping that I will have somewhat of a cute little hairdo by Christmas this year.

I have returned to work and it is the best thing I could have ever done.  I missed it so much.  I am so lucky to be good at what I do and love it at the same time.  I have been well received by all of my colleagues and when asked how I am feeling I can honestly report that it almost feels as if nothing ever happened to me.  Don’t get me wrong for one minute.  I know the hell I went through over and over again.  But that is in the past and I am on the other side and I am moving faster and clearer than before.  I truly feel that I have even more drive and more ambition to do greater things with my life every single day.  I am grateful for every day and everyone who watched over me while I was being challenged with the worst experience of my life.  Now I am just looking forward and I do not look back.  Not yet. 

I eventually want to create a post that really details the hard hit my body took and provide the detailed pictures.  My thought is that the pictures are so unbelievably graphic that I am not sure if I would offend people.  My intention in sharing is to educate people on the affects of breast cancer on a woman’s body and the miracle of reconstructive surgery.  Any comments on this would be greatly appreciated.  Again, I am not intending to offend anyone.

On a lighter note, my wonderful and crazy husband Jason and I did not have our annual Halloween bash this year.  I literally pulled into my driveway this past Saturday night, when we would have been having it, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief that I wasn’t having a party.   In the 4 years we have been together we have had 3 raging Halloween parties.  This year, with all of the craziness going on in our lives my husband decided he was going to sell all of his Halloween decorations.  For anyone who knows Jason they know that his Halloween stuff is some of his most prized possessions.  He’s really got some of the best stuff I have ever seen.  Bottom line is he knew he could make a lot of money by just getting rid of everything.  People paid him top dollar for all of his creepy and scary stuff.  He made a profit on just about everything he sold.   Once again, Jason bought a lot of stuff, paid little for it, used it for a few years, gave lots of people enjoyment and then sold everything at a profitable price.  I would call that a WIN - WIN.

 TRICK OR TREAT

Here are pictures of Mr. Pimp Daddy himself this year.  He grew the mustache just right for this costume and this look.  Yes people that is really his mustache but that is not his hair.  He generally keeps his hair cut real short and usually is clean shaved.  

Jason is known for wearing the best costumes at Halloween and winning top prizes in the past.  Believe it or not this was a down played year for the crazy devil.  Prior years have included him being dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS,  the bloody groom to my bloody bride, a horse, a chopped up surgery technician, a crazy clown, the fat bellied cop with his box of donuts and my favorite – a woman.  Jason does make a pretty good woman.  Put a dress and long wig on him and with his great face, arms and legs he looks amazingly good.  This only works when he is clean shaved of course.  

This Halloween my hair started growing back and we got rid of all of our Halloween party inventory.  I would say that that is huge progress in our house!  Now if we can just get rid of 50% of what is in our garage!  That would be extreme progress.  Baby steps.  Baby steps.

Even though October is over and we are now venturing in to the wonderful season of Fall, please remember to be aware of breast cancer and spread the word on breast cancer awareness, no matter what month we are in.   The seasons may change and the green leaves may be turning orange and brown but PINK will always be a color that is in my pallette through Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer.  For the rest of my life PINK will be a symbol of something I endured and respect.  I have met a few wonderful women who have also taken this journey.  I have also heard of friends losing loved ones this year to the battle with breast cancer.  This breaks my heart.  Why do some go into battle with this beast and lose the fight?  We will never know why this is.  It is our responsibility as survivors to educate others and embrace the fact that we did survive.

Stay healthy my friends!